


until we meet again

by sapphicplatypus



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:34:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21922252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicplatypus/pseuds/sapphicplatypus
Summary: Later, when Maggie thought back to this afternoon, she wouldn’t remember the remainder of their game of twenty questions, or the specific details of their lighthearted conversation. But she would remember the glimmer in Alex’s eyes, the way she threw her head back as they descended into childish laughter. She would remember wondering, for the first time, what it would be like to kiss her.(a sanvers childhood friends AU)
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer
Comments: 13
Kudos: 166
Collections: Secret Sanvers | A Sanvers Winter Holiday 2019 Event





	until we meet again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [prettysky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettysky/gifts).



> For Yar, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> (Also, heads up/content warning for some homophobia involving Maggie's dad, about halfway through. Nothing beyond what we've seen in canon, but just in case.)

“Person, place, or thing?”

“Person.”

“Okay, hmm, man or woman?”

“Woman.”

Maggie felt a now-familiar spark of _something_ in the pit of her stomach at the mischievous tone of Alex’s voice. She could feel heat rising in her cheeks, and she cleared her throat before continuing her questioning.

“Um, is she a celebrity?”

“Yes.”

“What color hair?”

“Brown.”

“Eyes?”

“Also brown.”

Maggie couldn’t resist batting her eyelashes in Alex’s direction, resting her chin daintily on the back of her own hand. “Is it me?” she teased.

Alex raised an eyebrow. “Are you a celebrity?”

“Maybe I will be, when I grow up.” She sat up, crossing her arms. “And I thought I was asking the questions here, Danvers.” Maggie fought hard to sound stern, barely holding back a giggle as Alex raised her hands in defeat.

“Okay, okay,” Alex said quickly, her hands still up next to her ears. “No, it’s not you, Maggie.”

Maggie gulped. There it was again, that feeling. It reminded her of how she felt riding the rickety roller coaster at the county fair. That swoop in her stomach as she went over a hill, the thrill of it—it felt just like that.

Except she wasn’t on a rollercoaster now. She was here, in a cozy bedroom inside a Colorado ski lodge, sprawled out atop a flannel blanket with Alex Danvers on the second-to-last day of winter break. There was no winding track in front of her, no wind in her hair as she sped over the highest peak. There was only Alex—her soft brown hair splayed against her pillow, the warm light of the late afternoon sun bringing out the green in her eyes. There was only Alex, and yet Maggie felt that thrill just the same.

And underneath the thrill, a cold trickle of fear—fear of what all these feelings meant. About her. 

That she was... _like that_.

“Maggie?”

She jolted, startled by the sound of Alex’s voice.

“I, uh, sorry. Just thinking.”

“Well, think faster,” Alex teased. “You’ve still got fourteen questions left, I hope it doesn’t take you this long to think of all of them.”

“Hey, the last one doesn’t count!”

“I’m counting it.”

“Not fair!”

Later, when Maggie thought back to this afternoon, she wouldn’t remember the remainder of their game of twenty questions, or the specific details of their lighthearted conversation. But she would remember the glimmer in Alex’s eyes, the way she threw her head back as they descended into childish laughter. She would remember wondering, for the first time, what it would be like to kiss her.

She would remember it as one of the last moments of normalcy before everything changed.

\--

Long after the sun had set, casting long blue shadows in its wake, Maggie and Alex sat curled up in front of the fireplace. They huddled together under a blanket, the soft material pulled tight over two sets of shoulders.

Alex snuggled even closer into Maggie’s side. A shiver that had nothing to do with the lingering chill in the air ran through Maggie’s body.

“I’m cold,” Alex whined, her voice muffled against Maggie’s shoulder.

“You’re always cold, Danvers.”

“I’m from _California_ , Maggie, I’m not built for this weather.”

Maggie shook her head. “You’d think after coming here every year you’d start to get used to it.”

Alex rolled her eyes. (Maggie couldn’t see it, but she knew it anyway.)

“Whatever, Sawyer. You wouldn’t understand.”

It was true, at least somewhat. Being from Nebraska gave Maggie a much higher tolerance for colder weather. However, she often found herself feeling jealous of the way Alex’s family was able to return to the California sunshine after experiencing a couple weeks of “real” winter up in the mountains. Meanwhile, she knew she had at least three more months of cold weather waiting for her at home.

Maggie’s family had been coming to the ski lodge every December for as long as she could remember. When Maggie was six years old, the Danvers family came for the first time, and she and Alex had hit it off as soon as they met. They were inseparable for the entire trip, and devastated when they had to say goodbye. 

The next year, Maggie had waited anxiously next to the front desk, hoping her friend would be back again. When she spotted a seven-year-old Alex Danvers waddling through the door in her oversized winter coat, Maggie had broken into a sprint, launching herself into Alex’s arms. The rest was history; they had spent every winter break since then attached at the hip.

As silence stretched between them, Maggie felt the weight of their last night together settling over her. As usual, she dreaded saying goodbye to Alex in the morning, knowing she wouldn’t see her for another year.

As if reading her thoughts, Alex gently broke the silence. “Next time we see each other, we’ll be in high school. Isn’t that weird?”

Maggie hummed in agreement, her thoughts still distant.

“Are you nervous?”

Maggie’s heart skipped a beat. “What?”

“About high school.”

“Oh,” she said, pausing a moment to think. “A little, I guess. Are you?”

She felt Alex’s attempt to shrug her shoulder where it was pressed against her under the blanket. “A little bit. It’s gonna suck to be back at the bottom of the food chain. Like sixth grade all over again.”

Maggie laughed. “But at least we’re taller than we were in sixth grade.”

Alex reared her head up, shooting Maggie an incredulous look. “ _Some_ of us are taller than we were in sixth grade.”

“Hey!” Maggie yelped, offended. “My mom says I just haven’t hit my growth spurt yet.” 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Maggie rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t quite keep the smile off her face.

After a moment, Alex sighed, growing serious once more. “Actually, I think I’m...more than just a little nervous about high school.”

Maggie tilted her head to the side and gave Alex an encouraging look, ready to listen. 

Alex let out a self-conscious huff of a laugh. “Maybe this is stupid, but...remember my friend Vicky I told you about?”

Maggie nodded. Jealousy swirled in the pit of her stomach at the mention of Vicky’s name, but she tried to push it down and focus her attention on Alex. 

(It just made her upset that Alex had another best friend besides her, one she got to see for more than two weeks every year. And Vicky’s parents had a trampoline in their backyard. How was she supposed to compete with that?)

“Well, Vicky and I were talking and she said she’s most excited for high school because...well, her parents said she’s not allowed to date until she’s fourteen, so now she’ll finally be able to have a boyfriend. And it’s just...all she ever wants to talk about is... _boys_.” Alex’s nose wrinkled as she said it. “And I realized...I never really think about any of that stuff. Holding hands in the hallway, going to prom… kissing…”

The tips of Alex’s ears were turning red.

“I just feel like all the other girls are thinking about it and I’m...not. Is that...do you think that’s weird?”

Alex had avoided eye contact while she spoke, her gaze bouncing from her blanket-covered lap to the golden glow of the fireplace. But now she locked eyes with Maggie, nervousness etched across her features.

She seemed afraid that Maggie would judge her, and Maggie rushed to set her fears at ease. “I don’t think that’s weird at all,” she told her, keeping her voice gentle. “We’re only thirteen, we don’t need to be thinking about all that stuff yet. I think Vicky watches too much _Dawson’s Creek_ ,” she joked, feeling a surge of pure delight when Alex cracked a smile. “Besides,” Maggie continued carefully, “I’m not...interested in any of that stuff either, so if you’re weird, so am I.”

Maggie could both see and feel as the tension Alex had built up melted away. Her entire body relaxed, relieved. 

“Oh, thank god,” she said, leaning heavily into Maggie’s side. “I thought I was the only one.”

They shared a laugh, both relieved to not be alone in their feelings.

“I know we’re supposed to stop thinking boys have cooties when we grow up, but I don’t know if I ever will,” said Alex.

“Me neither,” Maggie agreed.

“Vicky told me she had her first kiss this summer at camp,” Alex continued, her voice a little quieter. “It was with some boy named Tommy. Behind a big tree, when the counselors weren’t looking.” She paused for a moment. “I’ve never even _thought_ about kissing anyone.”

Maggie kept her eyes trained on the crackling fire in front of her, her heart pounding in her chest. “I, uh, me neither.”

She could feel Alex looking at her, but she didn’t turn her head. After a moment, Alex nudged her in the side. “You know what I _am_ thinking about?” she asked, her lighthearted tone laced with mischief.

Maggie looked at her knowingly. “Sneaking into the kitchen and getting more hot chocolate?” 

Alex grinned before launching to her feet, discarding her half of the blanket behind her. “You know me so well.”

Maggie blushed as she accepted Alex’s proffered hand, letting her drag her to her feet. She expected Alex to drop her hand once she was standing up, but Alex gripped tighter and pulled her out into the hall. 

As they made their way towards the kitchen, Maggie remembered what Alex had said earlier. _Holding hands in the hallway_...it didn’t seem so bad, as long as it was with her.

Maggie smiled to herself as they scampered down the hall in their sock-clad feet. Maybe next year… next year she would tell Alex how she felt.

* * *

Maggie leaned against the corner of the front desk, her foot tapping rapidly against the floor as her eyes scanned the crowded check-in area for familiar faces. Usually, the Danvers family would have arrived by now, but it seemed like they were running late this year. 

Maybe their flight got delayed, Maggie thought to herself. Whatever the reason for their tardiness, she hoped they would arrive soon. She was eager to see Alex, looking forward to curling up in front of the fire and sharing stories from their first semester of high school. Tomorrow they would go skiing together, but tonight was for hot chocolate and hushed conversations by the firelight.

Maggie felt butterflies in her stomach at the thought of what _else_ she wanted to talk to Alex about. Not tonight—she wasn’t brave enough for that. But sometime during this trip, she had promised herself, she would tell Alex how she felt about her. 

She wouldn’t let another year go by without telling her.

As the sun sank lower and lower in the sky, Maggie’s spirits sank along with it. She was sitting on the floor now, her knees pulled to her chest, leaning her head against the wood of the desk as her eyes roved over the nearly empty lobby. 

No one had pushed open the heavy front doors in over an hour, and eventually Maggie had to accept that Alex wasn’t coming today.

With a sigh, she heaved herself back up to standing. She turned to head back to her room, but hesitated, her hand catching the corner of the desk. 

She turned back around, clearing her throat.

“You need something, honey?” The receptionist, a kind older woman named Carol who had been there since Maggie was a little girl, gave her a knowing look.

Maggie smiled, sheepish. “I, um, I was just wondering…”

“When the Danvers are coming?”

Maggie felt a blush creeping up her cheeks as she nodded. “Yes.”

Carol smiled gently, and Maggie could tell she was taking pity on her. “Alright, dear. Just this once, okay?”

Maggie nodded eagerly, moving closer.

“Alright, let’s see.” Maggie could hear the clacking of the keyboard as Carol typed into the bulky computer. “Hmm.” Carol’s mouth twisted into a frown.

She glanced up, meeting Maggie’s eyes with a sympathetic look. Maggie knew what she was going to say before she said it, but it didn’t make hearing the words out loud any easier.

“I’m sorry, Maggie, I don’t have any reservations for the Danvers family. I don’t think they’re coming this year.”

Maggie’s heart sank. She made a halfhearted attempt at a smile and thanked Carol before trudging down the hallway towards her room.

She locked the door behind herself and immediately crawled into the bed, burrowing beneath the blankets. She felt like she was going to be sick.

She had no way to contact Alex, no way to know why she wasn’t there. Was she okay? Was her family okay? Would she ever come back? What if Maggie never got to see her again?

At the thought of that, Maggie finally let the tears fall, her face pressed against the pillow beneath her. 

\--

For the next two weeks, Maggie couldn’t help but cast a hopeful glance at the front door every time she passed through the lobby. She felt more and more pathetic each time, but she couldn’t quite quash the foolish hope that Alex would walk through the door.

She spent every night in front of the fire, alone, wishing Alex was there beside her.

The day before she was supposed to go home, Maggie nervously approached the front desk once more, intent on asking Carol for one last favor.

“What can I help you with, dear?” Carol’s smile was genuine as she peered over her computer.

“I was wondering, would it be possible to, um…” Maggie wrung her hands in front of herself. “Would you be able to look up Alex’s address? I...I just want to send her a letter, and, you know, make sure she’s okay.”

“Oh, honey.” Carol gave her that same sympathetic look as last time. “I know you miss your friend, but I’m really not supposed to do that. I could get in a lot of trouble.”

Maggie nodded weakly. “Okay. I understand.” She felt tears welling up in her eyes, and she silently willed them not to fall until she was back in the safety of her room. Her lower lip began to tremble, and she bit down on it, desperate not to make a fool of herself in front of this woman.

“Oh,” Carol muttered under her breath. She leaned over the desk, turning her head to the left and the right to make sure the lobby was empty. “Screw it.”

She quickly typed something into the computer, her eyes scanning across the page until she found what she wanted. She tore a post-it off the generous stack in front of her and wrote something down, before sliding it across the desk to Maggie.

There, in Carol’s hurried scrawl, was Alex’s address.

Maggie’s eyes lit up as she grabbed at the paper, holding it close to her chest. “Thank you, thank you so much!”

“This is our little secret, okay?” Carol told her, lowering her voice.

Maggie nodded, her eyes wide.

Carol cracked a smile. “Think of it as a late Christmas present.”

Maggie couldn’t contain her grin as she made her way back to her room, clutching the post-it tightly in her hand.

\--

The next evening, as soon as her family arrived at home, Maggie bounded up the stairs to her bedroom, depositing her suitcase in the middle of the floor and scrambling for a pen and paper.

Her heart beat loud and fast in her chest as she wrote, pouring everything she wanted to say to Alex into the letter. The way she made her feel like no one else could. The way the connection they shared was deeper than anything she had felt with her friends here in Nebraska. The way her feelings of friendship had slowly blossomed over the years into something more.

(The way she hoped that somehow, someway, Alex would feel the same.)

When she had written all that she could, she hurried back downstairs, on the hunt for an envelope. She tried to remember where her mother kept them, checking several places before she finally found them and plucked one from the top of the pile. She peeled a stamp from its sheet, smoothing it onto the corner of the envelope. 

Satisfied, she made her way back up the staircase. When she reached her bedroom, the door was open, and her father was inside.

Maggie froze in the doorway.

Her father held her letter in his hands.

His brow was furrowed deeply, his expression a combination of anger, disappointment, and disgust. “Margarita,” he said slowly, “what is this?”

“It’s nothing,” she tried, her voice and hands shaking.

“Does this mean...what I think it means?”

Maggie didn’t know what came over her in that moment, but she was tired of running from her feelings, of hiding who she was. So she told the truth.

“Yes,” she said, trying to keep her voice from wavering. “This is who I am, dad. But I’m still the same me,” she pleaded. “It doesn’t change anything.”

Her father scoffed. “It changes _everything_. You know I can’t accept this kind of...sinful behavior. It’s not right. I won’t allow it.”

“You won’t _allow_ me to be who I am?”

“No.” His voice was firm. “If you are going to choose to be... _like that_ , you will not be welcome in my home.”

Maggie’s heart dropped. Was he really saying what she thought he was saying?

“You’re...kicking me out?”

He steeled his jaw. “You shame me,” he told her, and she felt his revulsion down to her bones.

Later that night, as she sat in silence on the long car ride to her Aunt Lisa’s house, she mourned for all she had lost. Her parents, who were supposed to love her unconditionally. Her school, her friends, her entire life, ripped away from her in an instant. And her closest friend, her only solace, gone without a trace.

She wished she had been able to keep the piece of paper with Alex’s address on it.

Now, she knew for certain that she would never see or hear from her again.

* * *

The next time Maggie set foot in the ski lodge, she was almost thirty years old. Fifteen years had come and gone, and every obstacle and challenge she faced along the way had only served to make her stronger.

She had made it through high school, college, and the police academy, before joining the force and quickly working her way up to detective. She had had her first serious relationship with a woman—followed by a string of not-so-serious relationships. She had experienced her first major heartbreak (other than her ill-fated childhood crush) and it had left yet another scar on her already battered heart.

Maggie let out a quiet sigh as she took in the familiar lobby, a sense of calm washing over her at the memory of a simpler time in her life. She didn’t know what exactly had compelled her to come back after all this time, but it felt right to be here.

She made her way towards the front desk, rolling her suitcase behind her. She was greeted by a young woman who looked to be around her own age, and she felt a twinge of sadness that Carol was gone. A part of her had hoped to see her sitting there, just as she remembered her. 

Once she had checked her in, the receptionist handed Maggie her room key with a smile. She accepted it gratefully, looking forward to shrugging off her heavy coat and settling in for the evening. Just as she turned around, the sound of the front door caught her attention and she glanced absently in its direction. 

Maggie stopped in her tracks, eyes widening. It couldn’t be.

There, striding through the front door, right in front of her, was Alex Danvers.

She was taller now, and her hair had been cut to chin-length, but Maggie would recognize her anywhere. She walked arm in arm with a blonde woman, who was speaking animatedly while Alex looked on with a bemused, affectionate grin. The woman was taller than Alex, but she appeared to be a bit younger, and Maggie could tell that they knew each other very well. Bringing up the rear was Alex’s mother, Eliza, streaks of gray now adorning her sandy blonde hair.

All Maggie could do was stand there and stare as they approached, still too shocked at the sight of Alex after all these years.

The blonde woman was finishing her story, and Alex opened her mouth to respond but faltered as her eyes finally landed on Maggie.

She gaped at her for a moment in disbelief. “Maggie?”

At the sound of her voice, Maggie broke into a smile. “Alex,” she breathed.

“Oh my god. Maggie!” Alex rushed toward her and swept her into her arms.

Maggie returned the embrace instantly, clutching tightly to Alex’s back. She couldn’t believe this was real.

Maggie could feel tears stinging the corners of her eyes as she clung to Alex. She never wanted to let go, but eventually, reluctantly, they had to pull back. 

Alex’s hands grasped gently at Maggie’s elbows, keeping her close. “It’s really you,” she said, awestruck.

A breathless laugh escaped Maggie’s lips. “I can’t believe it. I thought I’d never see you again.”

“Me too,” said Alex, and Maggie could see tears glittering in her eyes as well. She looked just as overwhelmed and overjoyed as Maggie felt.

The soft sound of a throat clearing behind Alex brought them back to reality. Maggie took a reluctant step away from Alex, missing her nearness instantly. 

She smiled sheepishly at Eliza. “Hi, Mrs. Danvers. It’s good to see you.”

Eliza met her smile warmly as she stepped towards her with open arms. “Come here.”

This hug was much briefer than the one she had shared with Alex, but it was just as comforting. Maggie tried not to think about how long it had been since she had experienced this kind of motherly embrace.

When she stepped back, Maggie noticed the mysterious blonde woman from before elbowing Alex in the ribs.

“Oh!” Alex exclaimed. “That’s right. Maggie, this is Kara. My sister.”

Maggie’s eyebrows flew upwards. “Your sister?”

“It’s...a long story. I’ll tell you all about it,” Alex promised. “Later tonight, maybe? We can catch up?” She looked hopeful and almost nervous, as though there were any universe in which Maggie would possibly say no to spending time with her.

“Yes, yeah, of course. That would be great,” she told her. She shifted her attention back to Kara for a moment. “And it’s nice to meet you.”

“You too! Alex told me so much about you when we were younger,” Kara gushed.

“Kara!”

Maggie blushed, a bashful smile taking over her face.

“Oh wow, you really do have dimples. And they _are_ super cute, you were right, Alex!”

“Kara, I swear to god.”

Maggie couldn’t help but laugh at the exasperated expression on Alex’s face. “Okay, I think I’m going to head to my room and unpack, I’ll let you guys check in. And then, um, I’ll see you later?” she confirmed with Alex, who nodded eagerly. “I’m in room 203.”

“Okay,” Alex said with a smile.

“Okay,” Maggie repeated softly. “I’ll see you around, Danvers.”

As soon as the door to her room clicked shut behind her, Maggie flopped onto the bed, hugging a pillow to her chest and smiling dreamily up at the ceiling. She still couldn’t quite believe this was all really happening. Alex was really here.

That familiar swooping sensation returned, that roller coaster thrill she always felt around Alex. Maggie wondered if it was merely the memory of a childhood crush, or if that feeling was tied to something deeper.

\--

Maggie cocked her head to the side as she regarded her reflection in the bathroom mirror, smoothing her hands down the front of her soft flannel shirt for the third time. She frowned slightly, reaching up and tucking her hair behind her ears. After a moment’s consideration, she untucked one side, before meeting her own eyes with a grimace and untucking both sides, raking her fingers through the dark waves.

At the sound of a knock on the door, Maggie’s heart jumped in her chest. Alex was here.

Maggie hurried to the door and pulled it open, the sight of Alex kickstarting the butterflies in her stomach.

“Hey,” she said softly.

“Hey,” Alex echoed.

They shared a timid smile before Maggie stepped back to let Alex inside. “Come in.”

They stood awkwardly for a moment, neither knowing what to say or where to begin.

“So,” Alex said finally, her tone serious. “I have to know.”

She paused, and Maggie waited with nervous anticipation.

“Do you still put ranch on your pizza?”

Alex maintained her grave expression for a few seconds before she cracked, grinning stupidly at Maggie, who rolled her eyes.

“Oh my _god_ , Danvers. You haven’t changed at all.”

“Neither have you,” said Alex. “Like, seriously, I think you’re the same height as you were the last time I saw you.”

Maggie gasped. “Hey!”

Despite her best efforts, she soon joined in Alex’s laughter, feeling the tension in the room melting away as they slipped back into familiar patterns.

“So,” Maggie said a little while later. “Are you still in California?”

“Yeah.”

“I was hoping so,” she said with a nervous smile. “It’s kind of crazy, I actually just decided a couple weeks ago to transfer to the NCPD to work with their new science division. And since you’re still in California, maybe we could, you know, try to meet up sometime?”

Alex took a second to process before her eyes lit up. “Wait, National City?”

Maggie nodded. “Yeah, the opportunity came along and I decided I needed the change.” She stopped, noticing the smile on Alex’s face.

“I live in National City.”

Maggie couldn’t help the giddy laugh that she released. “Oh my god. Really?”

Alex beamed at her. “This is amazing!”

Maggie could only nod her head, speechless. There was nothing she could say that could express how happy she felt. For a moment, she thought she might be dreaming.

“First we see each other for the first time in fifteen years and then we find out we’ll be living in the same city? Must be fate,” Alex said with a wink.

Maggie laughed in response, but her heart beat a little faster at Alex’s words. Maybe she was right.

\--

Eventually, Maggie and Alex ended up on the floor in front of the fireplace, just like when they were kids. They sat facing each other this time, rather than cuddled up together under the same blanket like they had all those years ago. A small part of Maggie felt relieved to have a little space between them, knowing the butterflies in her stomach would only grow more intense the closer she got to Alex.

Maggie watched the flames flickering over Alex’s face as she spoke. She looked so beautiful, the warm light bringing out the subtle red highlights in her hair. Maggie wondered when she had decided to cut it short; it suited her well, emphasizing the strong line of her jaw. Her eyes trailed along that jawline before her gaze drifted over the subtle divot in her chin and up to her lips, lingering there for a long moment.

It was safe to say that her childhood crush had not faded. She still couldn’t look at Alex without thinking about kissing her.

Alex finished her story, a funny anecdote about Kara in high school, and Maggie blushed at the realization that she hadn’t caught half of the details. Still, she nodded along, smiling at the way Alex’s eyes sparkled at the fond memory.

Alex had already told her all about the year they both turned fourteen, the year she stopped coming to the ski lodge and left Maggie confused and brokenhearted—not that she knew about that last part. That year, the Danvers family had adopted Kara, who had lost both of her parents. Not long after, Alex had lost her own father in a plane crash.

Maggie’s heart had broken as she listened to Alex tell the story, and she felt a pang of guilt recalling how her fourteen-year-old self had felt so abandoned by Alex at the time.

They had since moved on to lighter topics, Alex regaling Maggie with stories of navigating adolescence with a brand new sister in tow.

“You know,” Alex said quietly, in the lull between conversations, “at first I didn’t get along with Kara, like I said, but now I can’t imagine life without her. I kind of think...and maybe this is stupid, but I feel like...like the universe knew I wouldn’t be able to come back here, that I wouldn’t be able to see you again. And Kara was, I don’t know, sent to me to...fill that void in my heart.”

Maggie felt almost overcome with emotion at that. “Alex…”

“God, I know, it’s so cheesy. Please forget I said that, actually.”

“No, it’s really sweet,” she said sincerely. “I’m so glad you have Kara, it seems like you really take care of each other.”

Alex smiled. “Yeah, we do.”

“I guess I should be offended that you found a new best friend so quickly, but it’s fine,” Maggie joked, trying to keep the conversation light.

Alex rolled her eyes, leaning over to shove against Maggie’s shoulder. “Shut up, Sawyer.”

Maggie grinned. “Actually, when I first saw you two together, I thought she might be your girlfriend.”

Alex made a face. “Gross!”

Maggie’s face fell, just slightly, but Alex must have noticed because she rushed to continue.

“Not like, having a girlfriend is gross, just, it would be gross to date my sister. Obviously.” She ran a nervous hand through her short hair. “I actually, uh, I _have_ had a girlfriend before. I’m...I’m gay.” Alex shrugged her shoulders as she said it, looking equal parts nervous and relieved.

Maggie’s mouth dropped open of its own accord. She felt like her brain had stopped working. “Really?”

She regretted it instantly, cringing internally. What a stupid thing to say.

Alex laughed a little uncomfortably. “Yes, really.”

Maggie shook her head. “No, no, sorry, I just...me too. I’m gay, too.”

They looked at each other for a moment before bursting into a fit of laughter, relief bubbling out of both of them.

“To think I was worried about telling you,” Alex said with a shake of her head.

“Me too,” said Maggie, still in disbelief. “I wanted to tell you when we were kids,” she confessed quietly, “but I was scared then too.”

“You knew back then?”

She nodded.

“Wow, you were way ahead of me. I didn’t figure it out until much later. But looking back, I realized there were definitely...there were signs.”

The look in Alex’s eyes made Maggie’s heart flutter. Could that mean...was she talking about her? Could Maggie’s feelings have been reciprocated, even if Alex wasn’t fully aware of it at the time?

Maggie looked down at her lap. She was being ridiculous. She was projecting her own feelings onto Alex, and she needed to stop before she ended up getting hurt.

Maggie changed the subject, guiding them back into safer territory, and they kept talking until they were too tired to continue. Eventually, Alex had to go back to her own room, departing with a sleepy promise to see Maggie again tomorrow.

\--

Over the next few days, Maggie and Alex spent as much time together as possible. Almost every night, Alex would come to Maggie’s room, and they would always end up in front of the fireplace, warming their hands and feet as they tried to catch up on fifteen years’ worth of each other’s lives.

Last night, Maggie had hesitantly told Alex about what had happened to her when she was fourteen. She left out the detail of the letter, but quietly recounted the rest of the story, her hands shaking as she spoke. It was the first time she had felt safe enough to tell it to anyone, and she couldn’t help the tears that fell, not only at the painful memories but at the sheer relief of sharing something she had kept inside for half of her life. When she had finished, Alex had held her in her arms, not letting go for a long time.

When they had parted for the night, Maggie went to sleep with a lightness in her chest she hadn’t felt since she was a child.

Tonight, as Maggie reached for a second blanket, Alex stopped her with her hand.

“Remember the way we used to sit when we were kids?” she asked, sounding almost timid.

“Of course.”

“I thought, maybe, it would be fun to do that again. Just, you know, for old time’s sake.”

Maggie’s pulse quickened at the thought of being that close to Alex again. She knew she shouldn’t do it if she ever wanted these feelings to go away, but she couldn’t resist the temptation.

“Okay, sure,” she agreed, hoping she sounded casual. She felt her heart flutter at Alex’s answering smile.

Maggie wrapped her blanket around her shoulders and plopped to the floor, looking up at Alex over her outstretched arm. Alex quickly complied, scooting close to Maggie’s side and wrapping the other end of the blanket around herself. After a moment’s hesitation, Maggie rested her head against Alex’s shoulder, barely suppressing a smile when she felt Alex press her cheek against the top of her head.

Being this close to Alex was pure bliss. Wrapped up together in front of the fire, the two of them were in their own little world. Maggie couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so safe. 

Alex had only been back in her life for less than a week, but Maggie never wanted to be without her again.

They didn’t talk much that night, both content to watch the crackling flames and simply enjoy each other’s company. Some time later, Alex yawned sleepily, nuzzling against Maggie with half-closed eyes.

“You wanna go to sleep?” Maggie asked softly.

“Mm-hmm.”

“Okay.”

Neither of them moved to get up.

“Is it...would it be okay if I sleep here? I don’t want to go upstairs.” She nuzzled against her again. “And you’re comfy.”

“Of course,” Maggie found herself saying, without thinking through exactly what it would mean.

Alex released her end of the blanket to wrap both arms around Maggie, squeezing her against her chest. “Thank you.”

Maggie tried not to think about how right it felt, how perfectly they fit together. She closed her eyes briefly, breathing in the citrusy scent of Alex’s shampoo before reluctantly pulling back and dragging herself to her feet, pulling Alex up with her.

Several minutes later, they were sliding into opposite sides of Maggie’s bed, Alex in borrowed pajamas that barely reached her ankles. Maggie stayed as far to her side of the bed as she could manage, turning away from Alex and closing her eyes.

As she was drifting off to sleep, she heard a whispered, “Goodnight, Maggie.”

“Goodnight, Alex,” she murmured, just before sleep finally took over.

\--

Maggie woke up slowly, her eyelids heavy and her mind hazy. She stretched out her legs, wriggling back against the warm body pressed behind her. She relaxed under the comforting weight of an arm draped over her middle, ready to succumb to sleep once more until—

Her eyes flew open.

Alex’s body was pressed flush against her own, wrapped around her from behind. Maggie could hear her gentle, even breathing next to her ear, and heat rose in her cheeks as she realized she could also feel the rise and fall of Alex’s chest against her back.

She needed to escape. She shifted forward, slowly, trying not to wake Alex. At her movement, Alex’s arm tightened around her, keeping her close.

Maggie tried not to read into what that could mean, but that glimmer of hope that Alex might return her feelings flickered inside her chest.

Eventually, resigning herself to her fate of being spooned by Alex Danvers, Maggie let her eyes fall shut again and drifted back to sleep.

\--

As the days went on, that flicker of hope in Maggie’s chest grew stronger. Every touch, every lingering glance made that feeling burn brighter.

By the time her trip was drawing to a close, it had built to a roaring blaze, which ignited every time Alex so much as smiled in her direction.

It was time to finally tell Alex how she felt, Maggie decided. She owed it to her fourteen-year-old self (as well as her twenty-nine-year-old self). The thought of telling her was terrifying, but Maggie knew she would regret it for the rest of her life if she didn’t do it.

Which was how she found herself standing outside Alex’s door on the second-to-last night of the trip, trying to balance two mugs of hot chocolate while she knocked.

Alex pulled the door open, her eyebrows raised in pleasant surprise at the sight of Maggie.

“Hey,” Maggie said, a little sheepish as she lifted the two mugs in her hands. “Thirsty?”

Alex grinned. “Yes. Come in.” She gestured with her arm before moving back to let Maggie through the doorway. “Please ignore the pajamas,” she added, glancing down at her flannel pants.

“No, they’re cute,” Maggie promised, watching a subtle flush creep across Alex’s face as she handed her one of the mugs.

Maggie set her own mug down on the table, wringing her hands in front of herself as she took in a shaky breath. When Alex saw the serious look on her face, she set hers down as well, intent on giving Maggie her full attention.

“What’s up?” she asked gently.

“I just…” Maggie took another breath. “I really needed to...see you, and talk to you,” she said, the force of her exhale pushing the words out.

Alex nodded encouragingly. “Is everything okay?”

“Well, um, here’s the thing. I’ve been wanting to tell you something for a while, but it...it scared me. I’ve gotten so used to keeping my feelings to myself, you know, so I don’t get hurt.” She swallowed. “But I’ve been realizing recently that...that life is too short.” She took a tentative step closer to Alex. “And we should be who we are.” Another step. “And we should...we should kiss the girls that we want to kiss. And I really just...I want to kiss _you_. I’ve always wanted to kiss you. I just…”

She trailed off, moving forward and cupping Alex’s jaw with both hands. 

When their lips finally met, that blaze in her chest roared to life. Nothing, _nothing_ had ever felt so right as kissing Alex Danvers.

After an initial moment of shock, Alex had kissed her back, her hands sliding up to Maggie’s shoulders. Maggie’s own hands moved to the back of Alex’s neck, her fingers slipping briefly into Alex’s short hair before traveling back down to her jaw. Maggie stroked her thumb against Alex’s cheek, gently, almost reverently as Alex’s lips moved against hers.

Kissing Alex was better than she could have possibly imagined—and she had imagined it often.

Eventually, they had to pull back, but Alex kept Maggie close, her hands resting gently but firmly on her upper arms.

Maggie pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. “So, you’re saying you like me back,” she said, drawing a chuckle out of Alex.

“Of course I like you back,” said Alex, her hands stroking down to Maggie’s elbows and back up to her shoulders. “I think I always have.”

Maggie felt that swooping feeling in her stomach. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Alex said softly, bringing a hand up to tuck Maggie’s hair behind her ear.

Soon, they were kissing again, their bodies pressed close together and their hands tangled in each other’s hair, the two mugs of hot chocolate abandoned on the table behind them.

* * *

Three years later, Alex and Maggie found themselves back at the ski lodge once more, Maggie having surprised Alex with plane tickets on the last night of Chanukah. This time, they pushed through the front doors together, walking through the lobby hand in hand. When they made it to their room, Maggie sighed happily, soaking up the nostalgia of this place.

The place where they had met, and the place where they had reconnected. The place where they had fallen in love.

When they were kids, they would sit together in a room just like this one, playing endless games of twenty questions. Now, Maggie had just one.

A few nights into their trip, she guided Alex over to the fireplace, where they had made so many memories, both distant and recent. She lowered herself to one knee, a ring in her hand, barely making it through the speech she had prepared before Alex was dropping to her knees too, tears in her eyes as she told her “yes” over and over again.

Alex pulled her in for a kiss, cupping her face in her hands like Maggie was the most precious thing she had ever held.

“I love you so much,” she told her, and Maggie’s heart still fluttered as much as it did the first time she heard those words.

“I love you too,” Maggie said softly, before leaning in to steal another kiss. “I always have, and I always will.”


End file.
